Mmmmm Movies…

How many times have you been to the movies in the past 6 months? Past year? I’ve been once, to see Happy Feet. I hated it and wrote about it here. But tonight we are taking my stepson to The Simpsons Movie and I am as happy as a leetle girl.

My relationship with movies is kind of odd. In high school and maybe during parts of college I saw a lot of movies. There isn’t much else to do out and about when you’re that age. It’s not like I was INTO them but every time one came out that I wanted to see, I pretty well know that I’d see it.

Nowadays, I never see them unless we get a DVD and watch it at home on a Friday or Saturday night. And even this is rare. I usually save weekends for catching up on Reality TV.

So, in the past…hrm…maybe seven years or so I have hardly seen anything. Often, the Russian at work will talk about movies, relating to me funny scenes from this or that movie. And he’ll never remember the name of the movie he wants to discuss, or the stars. I can fill in those details for him but then when he eagerly asks, “did you see it?” I invariably answer, “no”.

But since I don’t see anything, people always want to lend me movies. Don’t. I don’t have time. And when I do, I like a very specific kind of movie, usually involving Christopher Guest or a book I have read (oh-unless you want to loan me Running with Scissors or Little Children…DYING to see those). The Other Russian brought in Hot Shots Part Deux for me after I mentioned that I liked comedies. I have to return them. When I take time to view another film, Charlie Sheen won’t be in it.

The Devil in Disguise

She walks like an angel, talks like an angel...you get the idea.

Yeah, she's trouble. The little one. The big one, not one bit.

But I am not just posting to say that. I am posting because I never wanted to slack off on my blog yet at the same time, I knew I was destined to. It's what I do. So I am making good on my desire to not let this completely die.

Plus, I had these really cute pictures to share with anyonw passing through. I mean, hot damn, these gals are cute! OH, shuddup-it's not just bias. Anyone would think so.

*cough*

Oh, right! I wanted to tell you about one of my life's greatest disappointments. Miller Chill Beer. It sounded so good on paper. A light (pardon, LITE) beer with salt and lime added. Yummay! I first heard about it when I was back home and thought that maybe it was being test marketed in the midwest and maybe I'd never see it out east. Upon my return to NJ, I began calling liquor stores. It was here! So, one Friday afternoon I stopped at a liquor store on my way home and picked up a 12-pack. I was SALIVATING on my way home. Is that weird? I called up the Gib to share my joy (beware asking someone "CAN YOU GUESS WHAT'S IN MY TRUNK RIGHT NOW??". It never sounds right) and anticipated the moment that the limey goodness would pass my lips.

I got home and went inside, trying to play it like there were other things on my mind besides a tasy new beer I greeted all and sundy. Then clik. Slurp. Hm. Slurp. Hm. Slurp. WHA??? Where's the lime??? I guess this tastes a little...salty? But the limey goodness??? Nowheresville. Sigh. Life, why must you taunt me? Miller Chill, you are no Tequiza. Go away.

Best thing I have heard in the last six months:

Annie to Savannah Lee (resident cat): Savannah Lee, I love you. You can come to ALL my birthday parties.

I defy any of y'all to come up with higher praise from the 4 year old set. G'head. TRY.

How I spent my summer vacation. First I woke up. Then I went down town. To look for a job.

Wha? None of you remember Sister Mary Elephant?? F y'all.

No really. My summer:

The fam
Work
Trip to Chicago
Beach
Listening to Howard on Sirius while at work
Softball
TV: My Life on the D-List, Intervention, Big Bro, The Soup, That random show with the celebrity impersonators-though why that lamoid Sinatra made it to the finals is beyond me, The Office reruns.
Doing Yahoo Answers at work
Sleeping
Harry Potter


Do I bore? Welcome back.

Don't watch 30 Rock

Don't watch the TV show 30 Rock. Don't watch it because it is smart and funny and doesn't miss a beat and has a hint of heart and thus and therefore and henceforth will not last beyond this season. Or maybe next, if the stars are aligned.

Signed,

A fan of Arrested Development
and Freaks and Geeks

P.S. Rachel Dratch you got screwed. So sorry that I love the show anyway.

P.P.S. The character in the picture above slays me. He is so odd and perky I want to alternately trip him and then pick him up off of the floor and give him cocoa.

Wasted words

I know it's anal retentive but there are certain groupings of words that are very common in conversation that need not exist. Hrm, maybe not anal retentive, but minimalistic.

In the past few years I have noticed the increasing popularity of beginning sentences with this: Not for nothing. As in, "Not for nothing, but your shoes are untied". What does this mean? If it's not for nothing, is it for something? And since you are saying it, can't I just assume that you are telling me for some reason? How come no one says, "For something, your shoes are untied". Is this from The Sopranos because I don't watch the Sopranos and like to think that everything I don't quite comprehend might originate there.

This next peeve usually appears at the end of a sentence: whatnot. To me it's a pretty lazy petering out of a sentence, the speaker being too tired to really finish strong, he or she wraps it up vaguely, letting the listener fill in the blanks. "After I had a 104 degree tempreature for 5 days, I finally insisted that the doctor precribe some antibiotics or whatnot." Whatnot is interchangeable with the old standby: what have you. That one may be more vexing, though, as it is clearly a question that there is no answer for.

How about people who start there statements with the word listen. To people who do this, I say, "Listen, I am having this conversation with you, you can safely assume that even though I might be bored I am at the very least listening". Big on soap operas as in: Listen, Eden or Listen Colton.

Another unnecessary waste of vocals is: I'm just saying. Yes, we know you are just saying. Your lips move and words come out and that is you just saying.

Oh! oh! How about this one, popular among the realiteratti, specifically of the MTV variety: yo. I am not referring to the attention getting YO! That bothers me not at all. What I am puzzled by is yo as the suffix to entire sentences, yo. What is this (yo)?? WHY is this (yo)?? I plain don't get it, yo.

And since we were talking about reality TV, let me finish with this related irritant: The Reality TV Defense for Shite-y Behavior: I'm the type of person that will tell you what I think about you. Why is that okay? Does that make you a good person? No, it makes you a bitch. I don't want to know if you hate me, thanks. Or if you think I smell, am fat, dumb, slow,mean or whatnot. Yo.