Acknowledgements

Happy
Thanksgiving!

Since I don't eat turkey and the food at my in-laws can be most generously described as bland, Thanksgiving has become less and less about gorging myself and more and more about truly thankful for all that I have.The older I get, the less I take for granted. Today I am thankful for:

-My family. That is, the one Brian and I made. I am thankful for our health, our opportunities, and our love.

-My family. That is, the one my mom and dad made. My brothers and sisters are just so very...how you say...awesome and without them, I'd be lost. And my mom is still my #1 person to call when I need to feel better, and in spite of her own nearly constant sorrow she always manages to help.

-My friends. Some keep me sane, some keep me laughing and most do both. I hope that I give to them as much as I get, which is lots.

-My health.

-Pizza.

-The milk of human kindness

-My love of animals-there's a reason that pet owners live longer. Unless that pet is Henry (see photo)

-Second chances

-Not having to fight in a war. I often have to remind myself that we are at war. It's not right that I am so untouched by it but there you have it. Yet there are people, wives, husbands, sons, daughters, fathers, mothers, fighting...in some god-awful country away from there families fighting and they are so brave to have volunteered for this unfathomable, stupid war.

-Summer

-Winter (how else would I know to be thankful for Summer??)

-Target. It's everywhere I want to be.

-Joy

Jack Benny

Yesterday was my birthday. It was strange because even though I really don't mind getting older, I was depressed for much of the day. I kept waiting for something to happen, some sign that the day was different that every other day. I admit it, I was feeling sorry for myself. Homesick again and just a little blue. But things got better.

For starters, 2 of my awesome sisters sent Target gift cards. Now, even though I have a love affair with Target that is passionate and lasting, it wasn't so much the cash value and shopping potential as much as it was the thought. How needy am I? We normally don't do gifts among my siblings and it was an out of the blue surprise.

Later we took the girls to the playground and had a ball. Mary rode on the baby swing for the first time and lurved it. God, she and Annie are such the tale of two babies, Annie screamed on those swings until...well, it was only this summer that Annie would go on swings. But Mary laughed and laughed and I was laughing, too at the insane looking baby with the enourmous, pointy jacket hood and the crazy cackle.

After the playground we went to the liquor store and got my summer beer, Tequiza. Upon our arrival home, Brian's brother called and said yes, they would come over and play with Annie (Mary still can't keep her eyes open past 6) so we could go out for dinner. This was a great treat.

We have had a terrible time finding a sitter ever since G had the nerve to go to college. I thought I found one in Annie's afternoon "teacher" until I realized that she doesn't particularly like children. Some days when I pick Annie up she'll just balls-out say, "Thank GOD, another one is being picked up". Last week I saw her totally make a little girl cry unnecessarily, and then yell at the poor girl, "knock it off!". When Annie and I left the room I asked her if Miss Yellypants had ever screamed at her and Annie very matter-of-factly said, "I don't do anything bad" which is just so true and amusing that she is aware of this. And yes, I told the director that this broad is NOT good for the school knowing that for 8 bucks an hour (for aides) they aren't going to get the cream of the crop but still.

ANYway yes, we went out to my most favorite restaurant and the food was incredible and we realized that we could not even begin to recall the last time that just the two of us went out and vowed to start dating again in spite of our poverty. I think we have our old next door neighbor on the hook for sitting now. Awesome. She is a sweetie, just got her license and used to take care of Dallas for us. So.

I ended up having a really nice birthday, taking the circuitous route to gratitude and happiness that I tend to favor these days.

You oughta see my pictures & other musings

Cool!! Not sure if it's the new Beta Blogger or if it's because I am using laptop but I can now add photos where I couldn't before.

I have been travelling the web ring of Crazy Hip Moms (see my links) and am a little overwhelmed by the amount of blogs out there. So many are so good, but who has the time to read them all?? I will bookmark those that I really dig. What shocks me is that some blogs are part of like ten rings. Is it true? Is everyone blogging?

Today I am being a real bon bon SAHM. Mary is having a long nap. I knew she would because she cried from 6 a.m. until I went and got her in her crib at 7 and when she wakes up early, her morning nap always kicks ass. So I am online and watching Regis and Kelly. Decadent! I did my morning job search and I don't know if it's because it's the end of the year or what but the jobs are drying up before my eyes. I can't even find resume worthy jobs. It' s very discouraging. I have to make a certain amount of money because daycare costs are going to be so killer, plus I need benefits since Brian's job is so very starty-uppy. But I don't want the kind of high-stress job I had before because that's not where I'm at right now. I won't travel, won't commute far.

So for now I am neither here-nor-there. I can't fully enjoy this temporary SAHM position because I feel like a pretender; an imposter, and a poor one at that.

I am getting Christmas shopping done though. How sick is that? I am pretty much finished shopping for Annie and Mary. Ostensibly, I started to take advantage of a great deal that Amazon was offering. But then yesterday I was out running errands and I got Brian's Niece G her present at Target. And then I got this inkling of panic like Oh my gosh-I have so much shopping to do! Ridiculous, right? But this is how we are being trained-to start spending money and decorating as soon as the last Halloween pumpkin is smashed. The girls and I strolled over to Mrs. M's the other day-she was outside putting up her lights. Then she gave us a sneak preview of her Christmas village. Now, Mrs. M.'s Christmas village is not a few buildings on a coffee table. It takes up the whole front end of her family room and has a working train, skaters that skate, skiers caught mid-jump and on and on. I am not really the collect-y crafty type but this thing is really breathtaking. At least in December it is. In November, I could only enjoy it through Annie's wide-open eyes.

Sometimes I'll hear or see something and think, "Hot damn! The milk of human kindness knocks me on my ass". Or bottom, if you prefer. I was looking at Mrs. M's creche and she showed me this pretty pewter angel "flying" above it. As it turns out, our brand new neighbor had run into Mrs. M. on the anniversary of her adult daughter's death. After, she showed up at Mrs. M's with this angel, inscribed with some killer words about how if you hold something in your hands, you will hold it forever in your heart. And Mrs. M. is reading it aloud and I am trying. hard. not to cry because what new neighbor knew and what I know is that losing a child is a horror greater than what we can imagine, regardless of their age. And new neighbor was so moved by her sympathy to get this so-perfect angel.

The milk of human kindness is also why I'll continue to entertain playdates with the twins and their mom even though the twins are really hard. When I was on bedrest with Mary in my belly, the twins' mom, whom we only chatted with in passing at daycare, left a note in my mailbox with her phone number offering to do anything to help. I was feeling so lonely and homesick for my family at the time, and it was so full of milky kindness (oh, ew) to have someone make such a gesture of caring. So even though her kids are tough and she and I don't have much in common, I would always want to be friends with someone capable of such kindness. Plus, Henry bit boy twin's face the other night and she was WAY cool about it, and she's not even a dog person. But "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Henry?" is a post for another day.

How funny would it be to get like a hardcore glamour shot done of myself and include it with our Christmas card?? And then not include pictures of the kids? Hm. I'll have to think about this. Well, the kids' pictures would be on the card, as is our tradition. I think this'll be out 7th year of superimposing our faces where they don't belong-I'll attach one here, from the year that Annie was a wee bird. I am sure no one appreciates it as much as I do, but there's something to be said for entertaining one's self.

My sister reports that the Chicago Lite FM station has already switched to all Christmas all the time. Fa la la la la, la la la Blargh.