5.01.2007

Rush


I hope I can describe this accurately.

Nearly every time I have breastfed Mary, and at this point we are talking about over a thousand or more times, right? I have gotten this rush. It's not the let down, that is something very boobule-related and that particularly strange feeling stopped happening months ago. No, this rush I am talking about is an emotional one. Every time it happens I am struck by the strength of it. It's like this combination of joy and heartache and it's just a big OH! felt right in my heart. It causes me to take a deep breath and to sort of gulp. Or maybe gasp.

Do I sound crazy? Since it's so hard to describe, I've never asked any of my breast friends (snerk) about it. But if you've felt it, tell me. Insanity loves company. It cleans the house and makes pink lemonade for it.

4 comments:

_[rawr..]_ said...

oh, i've felt it... i've felt it!

i bes kidding you. i am a man.


hehehhehehehehehhe

Heidi said...

Yes, I get that feeling too. I'll get her latched on, and I think, "Hurry up and gulp, bitsy boo, Mama's got three projects to finish and the dinner dishes need cleaned and the laundry pile is... mmmm, look at your perfect little face. So peaceful and darling and we have all evening, so settle in and get your nummy nummins, you perfect little baby girl... *Sigh* Oh, are you finished already!? That was so fast and I'm so melty and peaceful."

It's better than valium. Well, almost.

Anonymous said...

Yeah man, it's eerie. Like a sense of accomplishment (hello?? Given life? Nurturing it with my BREASTS? Yes. Totally rocking here.) combined with utter love and peace. I like how you said an Oh in your heart. Perfect.

xoxox
O

Anonymous said...

You are most definitely not alone. It is the most amazing, intimate, loving high, and truly impossible to explain to anyone who hasn't been there. I haven't breastfed anyone in, oh, about five years now, but I remember that peaceful, exhilarated, overwhelming feeling with great fondness as one of the best things I have ever experienced.