A 5 year old found my achilles' heel

The first time my heart physically hurt for Annie happened this summer. She had taken up with the neighbor girl, a really gorgeous, sassy 5-year old who I won't name but suffice to say her name rhymes with bratty and she shall be referred to here as such for reasons you will soon understand.

Annie was and is totally infatuated with Brattie. She wants to play with her all of the time and Brattie does come over to play with Annie often. The two of them played all summer in our kiddie pool or on the slip and slide. Brattie would pull Annie in her wagon and then they'd take turns blowing bubbles.

But trouble arose. For starters, the difference between being a 3 year old and a 5 year is vast. In some ways it's really the difference between being a baby and a little girl. So Brattie would boss Annie. Or ignore Annie. Or say things to me like, "how come Annie talks funny?" Um, because she's three, bitch. I'm totally kidding. About the bitch part, anyway. This was all small potatoes compared to what was to come. What I like to call the alienation of Annie.

Brattie has two other friends in the hood. The first is a the four year whiose family is extrememly close with Brattie's. Kristin does Brattie's bidding. The two of them would completely gang up on Annie, pouring buckets of water over her head until she'd beg them to stop (as she laughed all the while) or make up games designed to allow the sanctioned bossing of Annie. For example, they might suggest to her, "we'll be the mermaids and you be the baby fish and we'll tell you what to do" or ""We'll be the sharks and you be the whale and we'll tell you what to do". See the pattern here? Worse was when Brattie and Kristin would leave Annie out completely, seeking out activities for two with Annie begging to play. This was where my heart would rip a little. See, Annie would just ask over and over again so sweetly, "can I play?" not really understanding that these girls were being small versions of females at their worst, having sussed out the weakest among them, they must now set about asserting their power.

The other neighbor friend is older, a sophisitcated 7. She used to adore Annie, ringing our bell to play just with her. Their 4 year age difference didn't seem to bother her as she was always so patient and kind that it warmed the cockles of my cold, cold heart. But now that she's a big second grader, Emma is now entering a hoochie mamma/cool girl phase complete with hip hop dance moves and gymnastics lessons. Now when she comes over, she is usually accompanied by her lacky, Brattie, and the two of them whisper rudely while Annie politely waits for them to finish so the playing might commence. A few times I have seen them simply walk away from Annie, leaving her in our yard to ask me where they went and if I think they'll be back. Oh, god, my heart can't take it.

I have intervened. I have scolded. I have gone so far as to tell these girls that if they want to come play with Annie that's great but if they feel like they can't be nice to her, maybe they should go home. Here's the killer part. While I die a thousand deaths at the cruelty I see against my little angel, Annie remains unflappable. See, she isn't aware that they aren't being nice to her. Wonderfully and beautifully, she doesn't know that "being mean" exists. But I am . And I'll be watching out for her for as long as I still can.